Ranking All The CDs In My Car
Worst 2 Best
In Los Angeles, your car is a second apartment. It doesn’t just reflect your lifestyle; it dictates it. Whether you spend your commute in the lap of luxury or a leaky beater will certainly influence your attitude at work. For instance, my commute is ~20 minutes each way, and I drive a 2004 BMW convertible.
To be clear, my car is sick (it’s actually a she, and her name is Marissa Cooper, but that’s neither here nor there). It’s adorable. It’s handy. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: a convertible is a truck if you’re brave. If you put the top down and grab some bungee cords, you can put a lot of furniture in the backseat. When New York friends are in town, I insist on giving them a ride in the open air. It’s the one fabulous LA experience I can provide. I don’t know celebrities, I don’t live by the beach, I can’t get you into fancy clubs and I don’t have the money for hot restaurants. But I’ll drive you to your AirBnB in my convertible and you! Will! Love it!
I have no complaints, none, but just…consider how far the standard-issue car has come in the past twenty years. Things we take for granted. Like GPS. Hybrid engines. Aux cords. Backup cameras. My car has none of those. I have a doodad that attaches to the dashboard and holds my phone, and a charger to plug into it, so that’s GPS sorted. And yes, I can download music and podcasts on Spotify and then listen to them from my phone, but without Bluetooth, I can’t make the sound come out of the speakers. The only sound I can get through the speakers is a crackly radio (I listen to NPR occasionally; other than that I literally can’t find a good station) or CDs. No tape deck. Just CDs.
CDs!
The good news is I have CDs. The hmm news is that I have CDs, but mostly from the time in my life when I was buying CDs. And I have to say, the CDs have made me think about albums a different way. It’s easy enough to skip to your favorite tracks, but since I can’t change discs while driving (safety first), i an album doesn’t have at least ~10 minutes of music I like, it’s not really worth putting in. For especially long drives, I need something that’ll keep me energized, but then I get sick of my favorite albums and have to rotate them out.
Which brings me to today’s project: ranking all the CDs currently sitting in my car. Minus the mixes I got from friends in high school, I have 42 discs in my collection. (I know I own more CDs because at one point I had two copies of Michelle Branch’s In The Spirit Room (a top tier car album) and can currently find zero, but anyway.) I’ve sorted them from worst to best not just in terms of quality but in terms of what they add to my driving experience.
42. Modern Tracks: The Alternative Choice: June ‘96
I’ve never listened to this and I haven’t heard of any of the songs on it. It was an impulse buy at Goodwill and it was a dollar. I try not to spend real money on CDs.
41. Dream: It Was All A Dream by Dream (2001)
Dream was one of those over-sexualized preteen girl groups but I can’t get rid of things so I still have their first album. The group Play was way better.
40. Nobody’s Angel by Nobody’s Angel (2000)
The one and only album from another one of those over-sexualized preteen girl groups, but the actual disc is MUCH cuter than Dream’s.
39. Backstreet Boys by Backstreet Boys (1996)
Clearly, I had very sophisticated taste in music as a young person and definitely didn’t just copy what other girls at school were into! There are only two good songs on this album: “I’ll Never Break Your Heart” and “Quit Playin’ Games With My Heart.” A recurring theme in this post is my penchant for songs about hearts.
38. NBC Celebrity Christmas (2001)
I was thrilled to find this at Goodwill. It was a charity fundraiser release and features NBC stars of the era (Sean Hayes, Jane Leeves, John Lithgow) singing Christmas tunes. Which is hilarious as a concept and very amusing the first time you listen to it, but after that either you’re listening to Christmas music and it’s not December, or it is December and you’re listening to “joke” Christmas music, neither of which I’m into.
37. Titanic: Music From The Motion Picture by James Horner (1997)
“My Heart Will Go On” is one of the great pop ballads of all time and the score to Titanic is one of the great movie scores of all time but I like songs not just music when I drive and there’s essentially one (amazing) song on this album. One dollar at Goodwill.
36. Elephunk by Black Eyed Peas (2003)
So many mixed feelings here. I have great memories of dancing at Bat Mitzvahs to “Let’s Get It Started (Spike Mix)” but this CD also has the uncensored version of that song which includes a slur! And not a slur that I’m not allowed to say but other people are and I just skip over it when I’m singing along, a slur that no one should say. The other hit on here is “Where Is The Love?” which is so painfully 2003 it’s almost funny. You can draw a direct line from “Where Is The Love?” to Macklemmore.
35. Original Motion Picture Soundtrack: Bridget Jones: the Edge of Reason (2004)
Another Goodwill purchase. I’m not a huge fan of this particular rom-com franchise, and Carly Simon’s “Nobody Does It Better” makes me want to rip my hair out for some reason? Rufus Wainwright’s song about eating dinner alone nearly. put me in a mental institution? But “Can’t Get You Out Of My Head” and “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” are two of the all-time best songs to drive around Los Angeles to, so.
34. Bridget Jones’s Diary: Music From The Motion Picture (2001)
it might have been Out Of The Closet, not Goodwill, come to think of it. I guess someone decided to dump their collection. I love movie soundtracks, always have! Very few filler b-sides, and you get a little bit of everything but they all go together, you know? Unfortunately this soundtrack isn’t that good!
33. Shades of Purple by M2M (2000)
This Norwegian duo came out the gate hot with “Mirror Mirror” and “Don’t Say You Love Me” which was on the soundtrack for the Pokémon movie. And then they were never heard from again. The other tracks are cute.
32. Rent (Original Broadway Cast Recording) Disc 2 (1996)
See, this is the thing about CDs! Discs matter! The only good songs on the second disc of Rent are “Seasons of Love” (not good to drive to) and “Take Me Or Leave Me” (good for all occasions).
31. Pieces of You by Jewel (1995)
As a piece of culture? Iconic. As an album to drive to? A bit plaintive!
30. Black & Blue by Backstreet Boys (2000)
Really good bad pop. “The Call” is about calling someone.
29. Spring Awakening (Original Broadway Cast Recording) (2006)
ABSOLUTE BANGERS, but after a few tracks of listening to young adults trying to sing like teens, it’s like, let’s find a parking spot already.
28. Hair (Original Broadway Cast Recording) Disc 1 (1968)
Clearly, I was a very cool kid with sophisticated tastes who didn’t just buy whatever musical OBC caught my eye because I legit thought I was gonna be A Star. Hair fucks.
27. Hair (Original Broadway Cast Recording) Disc 2 (1968)
Second disc gets the slight edge because “The Flesh Failures (Let the Sun Shine In)” is, occasionally, at sunset, powerful enough to make your car fly.
26. ‘N Sync by 'N Sync (1997)
I’m surprised too! I figured BSB would have the edge on driving songs, being much more hype than ‘N Sync. But “Tearin Up My Heart” is Max Martin at his best. When I first heard “God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You” I thought it was simply beautiful and wanted it played at my wedding (I was 5) and I still…think I want it played at my wedding?
25. Bernstein's West Side Story (1957 Original Broadway Cast)
I am loyal to this recording because of Chita Rivera — when you’re a Broadway purist, you’re a Broadway purist all the way — but others are better, I admit. That said, a surprising amount of sing-along-able songs! “Officer Krupke!” “America!” “I Feel Pretty!” Pretty good about this CD!
24. No Strings Attached by ‘N Sync (2000)
Listen, I’m writing this late on a Friday, I don’t have any cool plans, no one’s invited me anywhere…I don’t feel bad because I woke up early for work and I need to wake up early-ish again tomorrow and so sleep is what I should be doing tonight…which is all to say, I don’t fucking know anything about music, but “It’s Gonna Be Me” and “Bye Bye Bye” are pop bops boys these days just can’t do!
23. The ABBA Generation by A*Teens (1999)
Swedish teens cover ABBA hits. The album that introduced me to the greatest band of all time. The disc looks like a disco ball. 10/10 no notes.
22. Missundaztood by P!nk (2001)
This album has three classics (“Don’t Let Me Get Me” “Just Like A Pill” “Get The Party Started), one sad song that still pops into my head at random times (“My Vietnam”) and a handful of other songs I never think about. It was absolutely crucial to my “not like other girls” phase where I tried to have angst and be like, A Feminist, But I Was Ten And Didn’t Know. It came out 6 weeks after 9/11 so you can imagine how ready the preteen girls of America were to channel the ambient stress into these tracks!
21. Wicked (2003)
I used to keep this CD in my locker at school. I didn’t have any way to listen to it there, but I just liked having it nearby, like a totem. So if you care to find me, look to the Western sky????? Moving to LA vibes!
20. Rent (Original Broadway Cast Recording) Disc 1 (1996)
“Out Tonight” played at a sufficient decibel level could probably get me out of a coma.
19. ABBA — The Essential Collection Disc 1 by ABBA (2012)
I did, in the year of our lord 2023, pay money for this set. Top tracks: “SOS” “Mamma Mia” “Knowing Me, Knowing You” “Take A Chance On Me.”
18. The Book of Mormon: Original Broadway Cast Recording (2011)
A lot of people find this musical problematic. I have no take. I like the songs. I am who I am.
17. Let Go by Avril Lavigne (2002)
Faux-punk seeds planted in my mind by P!nk were watered by Avril. “Complicated” and “Sk8er Boi” are so iconically ‘00s that people forget that there are other good songs on this album, released when Avril was only seventeen! “I’m With You” and “Losing My Grip” and “Anything But Ordinary” go hard. And this gets like a thousand Singalong Points because “I like you the way you are/ when we’re driving in your car” when you’re driving in your car just hits different.
16. Fanmail by TLC (1994)
TLC peaked with CrazySexyCool, But Fanmail has “Unpretty” and “No Scrubs” and what am I gonna do, ignore that? Like a scrub?
15. Hannah Montana: Songs From And Inspired By the Hit TV Series (2006)
An incredibly important disc in my life. I was a wee thing just entering high school and slightly ashamed to still be watching Disney Channel every so often but then I saw that this very cool girl in my class Dana Lee was a Hannah fan too so we made a plan to go downtown to Virgin Records (!!!) and get this album when it dropped and I think that was one of my first after-school hangs with someone I didn’t know pre-ninth grade and more importantly it was the start of my friendship with Dana who is still very dear to me. We went to another one of our high school friend’s wedding last summer and listened to this CD the whole drive there and the whole drive back.
Pretty much every track works! Plus “Pop Princess” was written by Adam Schlesigner (RIP) one of the most important songwriters of the 21st century, IMHO. The one and only issue is that “See You Again,” inarguably the most hype Hannah song, wouldn’t drop until season 2 of the show, and is therefore on a different CD, which I had at one point but must have gotten rid of.
14. Monty Python’s Spamalot (Original Broadway Cast Recording) (2004)
One of the best musicals of all time, choke if you disagree.
13. The Beatles: The First US Visit by The Beatles (????? This is the soundtrack to a documentary recorded in the 60s, remastered in the 90s, I’m not sure when the CD was manufactured)
To be honest I don’t love listening to live recordings, but somehow I lost track of my copies of 1, Help!, The White Album and the Anthology CD Box Set, and managed to hang onto this, the only Beatles disc still in my collection. I might have borrowed my mom’s copy of Revolver back in the day but it’s gone now. Also, can we be real, if you’re not ~on something~ how fun is listening to Revolver? Be honest…
12. Old Navy: Get Up and Dance Volume 2: For Cool Kids and Groovy Grownups (1999)
My mom bought me this CD at Old Navy and it introduced me to so many important bands including A-Ha, Wang Chung, The Monkees and Men At Work.
11. Aquarium by Aqua (1997)
Come for “Barbie Girl,” stay for literally every other song because they are all insane Europop bubblegum dance masterpieces.
10. The Big Chill — 15th Anniversary Soundtrack (1999)
Iconic to me because this is the CD my summer camp would play during the end-of-session banquet, and everyone was like, Who is the DJ who plays all those awesome mood-listing oldies? and then you hit fourteen and realize, This is just The Big Chill soundtrack. Iconic to everyone else as one of the best soundtracks of all time, alongside Remember the Titans, which I can’t fucking find!!!! No skips.
9. ABBA — The Essential Collection Disc 2 by ABBA (2012)
The importance of the songs on this disc can only be expressed through caps, I’m sorry. DOES YOUR MOTHER KNOW? GIMME GIMME GIMME! THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL! SUPER TROUPER! LAY ALL YOUR LOVE ON ME! ONE OF US! UNDER ATTACK (more like Underrated Attack; this song is good).
8. Jagged Little Pill by Alanis Morissette (1995)
Am I gonna say it, am I gonna, am I just gonna go ahead and say it? I am. If you’re not already familiar with this magnum opus…you oughta know…
7. More Music From The Motion Picture Romy And Michele's High School Reunion (1997)
As a kid, when people asked me what kind of music I liked, I’d just tell them the truth, which is that I liked movie soundtracks. I’m not entirely sure that all of these songs are in the movie? But I’m pretty much never gonna turn of an 80s hits mix.
6. 13 Going On 30: Music from the Motion Picture (2004)
I may have given the Legally Blonde and Lizzie McGuire Movie CDs to Goodwill when I left for college, but I will never part from this rom-com soundtrack, which is all killer, no filler, Billy Joel to Pat Benatar to Whitney Houston. I dare you to have a bad day while “Jessie’s Girl” is playing.
5. Romy And Michele's High School Reunion: Original Soundtrack (1997)
It’s one of those soundtracks that doesn’t line up exactly with the songs that are actually in the movie, which has an iconic scene set to “Time After Time,” which isn’t anywhere on this disc.
But every song that is on this disc is fantastic.
Most importantly, this is the movie that introduced me to “Heaven Is A Place On Earth,” and that song is on the album, and it is one of my favorite songs to this day, and I believe one of the best songs of all time.
4. Music from the Motion Picture Josie and the Pussycats (2001)
RIP ADAM SCHLESINGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is my favorite movie. (Join the Army.)
3. Beauty and the Beat by The Go-Go’s (1981)
Can you believe it took until 2021 for The Go-Go’s to get into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!?! There was a time when this was the only CD in the car and my mom and I would listen to it on repeat. We did the same thing with Jersey Boys a few years later. Both really fun! If you are a girl in a girly car with the top down in Los Angeles and you are listening to this album you cannot die.
2. 1989 by Taylor Swift (2014)
Yes, purchased this year when I realized it would be cheaper to buy a couple CDs than it would be to buy a new car. Simply world-shifting, Taylor fully harnessing the powers of the synth to unleash Antonoff-Martin-Shellback madness upon the world. Album of the Year for a reason. “Blank Space (Taylor’s Version)” is going to open a wormhole in the spacetime continuum.
1. Now That’s What I Call Music! (1998)
Before it was a series*, it was just a mix of late 90s hits that you had to order on the phone. I was in first grade, and I wanted it. I hardly ever asked my mom for things out of the blue, but I sat in front of the television for like an hour so I could see the commercial for this enough times to write down the full phone number, because I could only remember two or three digits at a time, and when I had them all, I brought it to my mom and kindly requested that she shell out, I think, $13 or something? She did. It came in the mail. I think it was the only thing I ever got via the mail via the phone after seeing it in a commercial.
The thing is, it’s not the songs you remember that make this CD such a precious artifact. Backstreet Boys and Aqua are represented elsewhere in my CD library, and “MMMBop” has been stuck in our collective heads since it dropped. No, the meat in this music sandwich is “The Way” by Fastball and “I will Buy You A New Life” by Everclear and “Sex and Candy” by Marcy Playground.
AND “FLAGPOLE SITTA” BY HARVEY DANGER!
REMEMBER THAT???????
These songs must be listened to on CD, and that CD must be in a system manufactured before the recession, or it just doesn’t work.
I’m parking! Just go around!
Lizzie