Other Voices, Other Geniuses: Hannah Orenstein
Author, author!
Another author? Why ever not? Just in time for summer, Hannah Orenstein has released her latest novel, Maine Characters, a perfectly preppy lakeside cabin romp from a writer who inspires me to draft by hand and wear more stripes, two things I’m inclined to do already.
“I live in Brooklyn for most of the year and spend summers on a lake in Maine. It's my favorite place in the world, and I borrowed that setting for my new novel, Maine Characters. It's basically a grown-up Parent Trap — two half-sisters meet for the first time as adults after their dad's unexpected death, and they're forced to spend the summer together at his lake house to untangle his secrets and lies,” she says of the book.
She’s also just a fucking vibe and has her own Substack, all the cool girls do.
Other Voices, Other Geniuses: Hannah Orenstein
What song are you especially into currently?
I'm thrilled you're asking this because my friends are probably sick of hearing me rave about it. "CUNTISSIMO" by MARINA, aka Marina and the Diamonds who did "Primadonna Girl," which — if you were an NYU sophomore who dated finance guys and thought wearing red lipstick was a personality — was the ultimate pre-game song in 2012.
It starts with very dramatic strings and then dives into perfect dance pop with lyrics about push-up bras, diamonds, chateaus, Lake Como, Salma Hayek, Thelma and Louise, and more, as if if Lana Del Rey got really into clubbing. My personality is now just calling everything cuntissimo.
What is your greatest pet peeve?
Lattes aren't free.
How do you like to waste time?
I watch old episodes of Drag Race and Project Runway in my bathtub.
What book is currently living by your toilet/bed and how are you liking it?
I just read One Golden Summer by Carley Fortune and loved it! Impeccable lake vibes and the most outrageous BDE I've ever seen in a love interest. (Carley is a fellow lake girl. We own the same six-by-six foot loon float.)
What news topic that will always get you to click?
People has the most insane Instagram of any publication out there. If I can't sleep at 2 a.m., there's a 90% chance I'm scrolling through their stories about gruesome freak accidents.
What celebrity do you genuinely think you could get with if you met under the right circumstances?
Platonically speaking, Taylor Swift. We're both childless cat ladies with older sister energy, passionate but cringey dancers, overly sentimental, and unable to stop ourselves from processing every single feeling we've ever had through writing.
Please put a selfie here:
I've never been able to take a flattering selfie, but here's a photo someone else took of me working on a boat.
What is your favorite outfit worn by any character in The Devil Wears Prada?
Lizzie, this is an incredible question. My gut reaction is the olive green dress she wears to pick up the Harry Potter manuscript, but I also love the black minidress with the long coat, boots, and pile of Chanel necklaces.
What do you consider the secret to your success?
If I can be earnest for a sec, it's just sitting down and writing. I don't believe writer's block is a real thing. My background is in journalism, where you don't have time to dawdle in front of a blank page because you're on deadline. (And prior to that, I was taught intense discipline by a series of Russian gymnastics coaches.)
When have you been or felt the most FAMOUS in your life?
Last summer, work sent me to Paris for the Olympics, and when I checked into the hotel, the receptionist stared and was like, "Are you the Hannah Orenstein? I just bought your book yesterday." My books aren't even translated into French.
What is your current Lock Screen?
Have you ever seen anything cuter in your life?! My sister took this on our last family vacation, when we visited a tiny island entirely populated by penguins. I have a stupid soft spot for them because they kind of look like my tuxedo cat.
What is your most irrational fear or anxiety?
Per my therapist's advice, I am skipping this question!
What is the coolest object in your apartment/house/domicile?
The previous tenant was an older gentleman who bedazzled all of the electrical outlets. We've never met but I love him.
What is the name of your most active group chat and what do you typically message about?
My two best friends and I dubbed ours Pét-Nat Princesses in honor of a situation involving organic French wine and an armed robbery.
If you have a pet, put a picture here. If you don’t, a picture of your medicine cabinet. If you have more than one pet, pick the cutest:
Not only has Eloise won a local modeling contest and done sponcon for Brooklinen, but she's also served as a muse for many artists.
What is a conspiracy theory you actually think is true?
Gaylor has to be real, right?