Other Voices, Other Geniuses: Brittany Van Horne
can't get over "Stone Soup of Little Guys"
Wwwaaaazzzzaaaaaap! Back at it again with the questionnaires filled out by My Funny Friends™️. This week, Brittany Van Horne, comedy writer/influencer whose food and activity recommendations have saved me on many an otherwise boring weekend.
She’s great at finding stuff, like jobs and good deals on apartments and pop up wine bars and free food . To see Los Angeles through her eyes is to truly see it!
Not only is BVH A+ at jokes and content, her cat is sooo cute and I envy that because my cat, while cute in person, does not photograph well. Hers is basically a model. Keep reading, you’ll see.
OTHER VOICES, OTHER GENIUSES: Brittany Van Horne
What song are you especially into currently?
“No More Birthdays” - Sophie May. This song was written FOR THE NEW CHICKEN RUN MOVIE. And cut, so it didn't even make the movie. And... it's so good??? The in-song story is about a chicken who doesn't want its chicken baby to grow up and it's so cute I've teared up while listening to it. It's humiliating.
What is your greatest pet peeve?
This changes by the day and hour depending on who or what I'm around, but.... probably people without any spatial awareness. You know, the people who will for no reason just stand and chat directly in front of a food pick-up counter while someone is trying to grab their food, or people who will walk very slowly in the middle of a sidewalk and not let you get around them. That kinda thing.
What is the trait within yourself about which you feel the most ambivalent?
Probably my lack of chill/ability to be complacent. In a lot of ways it's been good for me because it's driven me to achieve things, but it also makes me a really fucking annoying friend who is always trying to force unsolicited life coaching on them (like, if you're unhappy with your job, here I've sent you 5 links of jobs that look like they'll be so much better for you! Do you want me to get you an email to contact their HR director?!)
How do you like to waste time?
How do I like to waste time? Watching reality TV and playing Switch. How do I usually actually end up wasting time? Aimlessly scrolling on my phone.
What news topic that will always get you to click?
As a recovering late night writer who spent several years traumatizing myself with a 24/7 stream of news, I am happy to say there is no longer a topic that will always get me to click. I'm healing.
What is the most illegal thing you have ever done that you are willing to admit to here?
I speed like a mofo.
Whom do you consider to be the most overrated dead person?
Wow, tough question. So many overrated dead people. I'll have to go with Ronald Reagan. Not a fan!
Please put a selfie here:
What is your favorite outfit worn by any character in The Devil Wears Prada?
Basic answer but I like when Andy wears that jacket that looks like a private school [uniform].
When have you been or felt the most FAMOUS in your life?
When I was eating at a food festival and a guy told me he followed me on Instagram.
How many tattoos do you have, and where on your body are they? If none, what would you get if you had to?
I have 3 tattoos -- the back of my neck, the back of my shoulder, and my thigh. Unfortunately they were all tattoos I got at 18 and 19, which I now believe should be illegal.
What is the coolest object in your apartment/house/domicile?
My cat got a "certificate of bravery" from the vet for being so fucking brave during her teeth cleaning and now it's proudly displaced on our fridge.
What is the name of your most active group chat and what do you typically message about?
It is called Stone Soup of Little Guys and we message about anything going on in our day. Recently I have roped my friends into playing Pikmin Bloom with me, which is a Niantic game kind of like Pokemon Go, but far less popular. So we've been messaging a lot about that.
How often do you watch porn? Do you think that is a good frequency?
I realize this is the most buzzkill answer possible, but I don't watch porn. It bums me out! I'm sorry! It's a good frequency to me.
What is the most annoying thing about the city where you currently live?
The traffic. I love LA and think people who complain about the people here suck. This city rules except for the fact that you're completely car dependent on very congested streets!
With an unlimited budget, what elective or cosmetic surgeries would you have done?
It is not actually the budget but fear of brain chemistry reorganization that stops me from doing them. Why do so many people seem incapable of knowing when to stop?! I feel like it has to fuck with your head and open your brain up to continuously finding new things about yourself to be unhappy with. But if I wasn't concerned about what it'd do to my brain: nose job, botox, lip filler.
If you have a pet, put a picture here. If you don’t, a picture of your medicine cabinet. If you have more than one pet, pick the cutest
Which Sex and the City character do you most identify with?
Carrie because she's so fucking annoying.
What is a trend you hope comes back?
Wearing sweatpants everywhere. A beautiful trend of 2020.
How did you meet the person to whom you lost your virginity?
College dorms. A terrible person and experience!
What is a conspiracy theory you actually think is true?
I definitely think the government is hiding some alien findings from us.
Thoughts on God?
I don't believe in Him but I think it's a nice idea for the people who do and can be chill about it.
Wow, my dog's vet made a point to come out and tell us he was NOT BRAVE during his teeth cleaning, so even more jealous of your cat's certificate!