101 Differences Between New York and LA
In no particular order.
Miscellanea…
I was on my wonderful friend Taylor’s podcast last week if you want to listen to my hot takes on child acting (bad) and covering your baby’s face with an emoji (obnoxious).
There actually might be a growing movement to end child acting for real, or to seriously reform it? If any of my readers can put me in touch with a higher-up at SAG, I have a very good idea on how to fix the industry!!!!
I recently rediscovered the G-rated delights of the comic strip Mutts…
Here’s a life hack: I used Canva to make my résumé all color-blocked and fancy. It took like 15 minutes and it’s free.
A tidbit about Gawker 2.0, if you’re still thinking about it (I am).
Noo Yawk v Lós Ángélés
Ever since I moved from New York to LA (which, depending on whom you ask, was either in 2011, 2021 or 2022), people have been asking me to compare the cities. Actually, they haven’t, but they do say things like, “how is LA?” and “do you miss New York?” and I get what they’re getting at: pick a winner!
(The winner is San Francisco Minus The Techies, but no one wants to hear that.)
In the interest of deciding, once and for all, which city is the city, I’ve listed all the differences, so you can make up your own minds.
There are lots of different industries in LA, but the entertainment industry is so big that people call it “the industry” and everyone knows what you mean. And even people who don’t work in “the industry” kind of do. They’re all connected to it. If you’re a doctor, your patients are in “the industry.” If you’re an Uber driver, you’ve got a screenplay in the glove compartment. No one in New York refers to anything as “the industry,” but if you did, people would probably think you meant sex work. Which is not unlike the industry.
The weather is better in LA. No one really disagrees with this, but they often counter it by pointing out that New York has seasons, and that they would “miss seasons” if they moved. This has never been true for anyone who has actually done the move. Although sunny Christmas is a little disorienting.
The sports teams are almost entirely different.
New York is in the Eastern Time Zone. LA is in another one, but no one knows which!
Shows like Seinfeld, Brooklyn 99 and How I Met Your Mother were set in New York but filmed in LA. As far as I know, the opposite has never been true.
LA is still doing cupcakes. New York is past them. To what? I don’t know.
In New York, if you see a girl so beautiful she could be a model, she is a model. In LA, she’s in music publishing.
In New York, adults give NYU kids a lot of shit and the FIT kids are generally considered a little ridiculous. In LA, adults don’t care about co-eds because they have jobs.
New York has blizzards (and also terrorism); LA has earthquakes. Earthquakes are much easier to deal with, because you can wear whatever you want.
LA has a big homelessness problem. So does New York, but people there talk about it less.
The first part of the movie Molly’s Game is in LA; the second part is in New York. I really like the movie Molly’s Game.
In New York, people prominently display their New Yorker tote bags full of literary materials. The first time I moved to LA, I had a job at a clothing store and during my breaks I would read and my co-workers thought that was crazy. They had not heard of Salinger! They seemed very happy.
Weight loss drugs like Ozempic and Mounjaro are everywhere in LA; in New York, people lose weight the old fashioned way (cocaine).
LA is Instagram, New York is Twitter.
The first season of You is set in New York. The second season is set in LA. (The fourth season just dropped and it’s good! That show is good.)
The crime statistics are different. At least, I assume. I didn’t look it up. If they are exactly the same, that’s a crazy coincidence.
Dogs in LA are often off-leash. Dogs in New York are often on medication.
It’s easier to make friends in LA. I have a theory about this. It’s not that people in New York are closed-off, at their core, but when you spend all day in crowded subway cars, navigating busy cafés and dealing with neighbors, once you get to, say, a party or a bar, you just want to find your people. Your smalltalk with strangers energy is spent. In LA, you spend all day isolated in your apartment, isolated in your car, staring at your computer. So when you get to a big event, you’re actually desperate for more faces, more contacts, more new people to talk to. It’s fun!
On the whole, the food in LA is tastier and fresher. Sorry but it’s true.
Both of the mayors are bad, but at least the LA one is a woman.
The pizza in LA is, in its own way, as good as the pizza in New York. The bagels in LA are ludicrous. Insulting, even.
“Game Night” in LA involves Mexican food. “Game Night” in New York involves learning the rules to an esoteric and complicated game you’ll never play again, and you go home with a cold.
The plastic surgery in New York is much more subtle, as is the wealth.
The few people in LA who don’t have cars are weirdly proud of inconveniencing themselves, though they often go carless not because of a moral stance about the environment but because they don’t know how to drive. I personally feel that, like cooking, even if you plan to never do it, you should know how to drive, in case of emergency. People who don’t know how to drive in New York are also strangely proud of this lack, because it indicates they grew up in an urban area. But the people who should be truly proud, in my opinion, are those in New York with cars. That’s a big commitment. That’s like having a kid.
If you live in LA but don’t have the money to live by the beach, you proudly never go to the beach. If you live in New York, you are supposed to go to the beach exactly twice per summer.
They are in different states and so have different laws, but not that different, because of Democrats.
It’s easier to tell someone’s politics in LA because of lawn signs and bumper stickers. In New York you have to ask, but you shouldn’t.
Uber drivers in LA have Teslas. Pretty sure New York Uber drivers don’t, but they might, because I was usually too drunk to notice when I was there.
In New York, the way to show you are successful is to always be working, perhaps at multiple jobs. If you are successful in LA, you haven’t worked in years.
Within LA, some people live in Hollywood. When asked where they live, those people say “in Hollywood,” and it sounds fake. Like saying you live in Atlantis or something. Is there a New York equivalent? A name so synonymous with a lifestyle it is less of a location and more of an idea? Broadway, maybe, or Wall Street. But they still don’t sound as fake as Hollywood (I think the big sign plays a role here).
A shirtless man in LA is out for a jog. A shirtless man in New York is cause for concern. Unless he’s in Central Park, though that’s still obnoxious.
In New York, criminals sneak into apartment buildings to steal all the Amazon packages in the lobby. In LA, criminals steal a car’s catalytic converter. What happens if a catalytic converter is in an Amazon package? I’d love to know.
New York is about having a lot of small plants, LA is about having a few big plants.
If you hear someone in New York speaking with a British accent, you can assume this person is traveling for business or pleasure. In LA, they are lost. They did not mean to come to LA, and they may need assistance getting out.
The LA version of the SoHo House is not the SoHo House in WeHo but the Magic Castle. It’s exclusive, and people love to talk about having been there, and how they weren’t that impressed by it. But they still want you to know they went.
People in LA get style cues from Instagram, people in New York get them from TikTok.
New York has connections to all kinds of spooky cults, like NXIVM and the sex cult that started at Sarah Lawrence. LA has Scientology, which is not as spooky but is very tacky (and evil).
New York has more journalism, but also more blogging, so that kind of cancels out.
Because of the lack of insulation, walls in LA apartment buildings are very thin, so you can clearly hear your neighbors having sex. In New York, you have to do something louder to get through to your neighbors, like fight. But people in New York do this a lot anyway.
All the trees are different, and most of the other plants too.
People in New York are very interested in New York Magazine. People in LA are also into New York Magazine. They don’t pay much attention to Los Angeles Magazine. However, it’s crucial that everyone read the piece about the Zankou chicken murders. (Zankou is delicious.)
Jack Antonoff seems like he should be from Silverlake but he’s actually from Jersey. The Haim girls seem like they should be from Brooklyn but they’re actually from LA!
Taylor Swift’s “Welcome to New York” and “Cornelia Street,” are both explicitly about New York, while others reference it in passing. She has at least one lyric about her boyfriend being in LA, but I’m not sure she herself goes to LA in any of her songs. Moreover, LA is where my friend Liz P and I will be seeing her concert. We’re very excited.
My friend Dana L lives in New York; my friend Dana S lives in LA.
My friend Liz P lives in New York; my friend Liz W lives in LA. (Yes, this means Liz P is coming cross-country for the concert. Such is the power of Taylor S.)
People in New York often discuss the pros and cons of the city’s big three airports: JFK, Newark, Laguardia. In LA, there is one big airport, LAX, one medium airport, Santa Monica, and one small airport, Burbank. Everyone agrees Burbank is the best.
People have more dinner parties in New York, which is silly because LA homes are bigger and more comfortable.
For many years, LA just had one famous, beloved wild animal, P-22 the mountain lion (RIP). New York, on the other hand, hosts a rotating cast of trendy-famous animals. The Central Park Mandarin Duck is a recent one. When I was at Columbia, students enjoyed spotting Hawkmadinejad, a hawk named after the then-president of Iran.
New York has rats and cockroaches. LA has spiders and coyotes.
A popular activity in LA is hiking. There is no hiking in New York.
In the summer, people in New York are all about hanging out on the roof. In LA, it’s about hanging out by the pool.
There is often an insane checkout line at Trader Joe’s in New York, to the point that it’s someone’s entire job to stand at the back of the line with an “End of Line” sign. I’ve even seen “Middle of Line” signs. The worst was on 72nd street. The one on Columbus never got that bad, but it did have someone whose job it was to tell the next person in line which register to go to, to avoid chaos. In LA, I’m not even kidding, none of that exists. People just hang out in the aisle near the register and make their way in a somewhat leisurely manner. It’s sometimes hard to find parking, but other than that the Trader Joe’s experience is almost entirely line-free.
New York has Succession. LA has:
New York is the older city, but it has “new” in the name. Isn’t that funny?
New York has more witches, but LA has more magic.
New York smells worse, but LA looks nicer.
It is marginally more socially acceptable to be a white rapper in LA than New York.
In New York, if you see a mural, it’s commemorating something profound and important and cultural. In LA, they’ll put up a mural for any old thing.
It is so much easier to drive in LA! Only a few cyclists, people aren’t generally jaywalking unless they have plenty of time, there’s not like, some guy unloading a van of flowers into a cart or whatever. And everyone’s a pretty good drive because they have a lot of practice. The streets are wide and well-marked. It’s a city built for driving. It’s just easy.
The graffiti in New York, especially on subway ads, is much more creative than anything you see in LA.
The best movie about LA is Boogie Nights. The best movie about New York is most of them, but I’ll take this opportunity to shout out How To Be Single, a movie people think is bad but is actually great.
There are more topical late-night comedy programs filmed in New York than LA. However, because all hosts eventually make all the same jokes over the course of a news cycle, there is an equal amount of net comedy produced in each region.
For many years, New York provided the transportation infrastructure that made it possible for people of all ages and walks of life to be functional alcoholics, which was significantly harder in LA. Uber is somewhat leveling this playing field, though LA still has less of a drinking culture.
If you wear a bowtie in New York, it means you’re fussy and have a posh job. If you wear a bowtie in LA, you are clinically insane.
Most open mics in New York go on long enough that everyone on the list gets a slot, or else does sign-ups beforehand so you only go if you know you’ll get stage time. In LA, you put your name in a bucket and the hosts stop drawing after a certain hour, so you might not get any stage time at all. This is according to some trustworthy friends of mine. I am 15 months clean from attending an open mic, taking it one day at a time.
LA cat owners sometimes put their cats in harnesses and take them on walks. I pray to God this trend does not pick up in New York.
In New York, you are sometimes forced to openly weep on the subway. In LA, you can do this in the privacy of your car, which is much more dignified, though sometimes unsafe, if your weeping compromises your ability to see the road.
My uncle lives in New York, my aunt lives in LA.
In Netflix’s new rom-com Your Place or Mine? Ashton Kutcher lives in New York and Reese Witherspoon lives in LA. The movie is not good, and I don’t mean in a fun-bad way. It’s just dull.
The buildings in New York are much taller than the buildings in LA.
Joan Didion did her best living in New York, but her best writing is about LA.
Katy Perry has a great song about California. I think if she stepped foot in The Bronx she would have a seizure.
In LA, there’s a big push to conserve water because of constant drought. In New York, rents are nearing a record high. Does anyone know what’s up with Chicago?
The LA area has produced notable musical acts including The Red Hot Chili Peppers and Sugar Ray. New York gave us Jennifer Lopez and the Wu-Tang clan. Just goes to show, talent is completely random.
In LA, I listen to NPR in the car because it’s the only station I have programmed into my radio. In New York, I don’t even know where to find the radio.
People do say “fuck” a lot in New York. It’s one of those stereotypes that’s true.
New York is noisier than LA, but I sleep better there, somehow.
In New York, sunglasses are a fashion statement. In LA, a necessity. (Because of all the sun.) (In New York the tall buildings make shadows.)
Walking on a nice New York day is one of life’s best pleasures that doesn’t cost anything. Walking in LA is pretty much never worth it, which may explain all the hiking.
A big question in New York is whether or not you left during the pandemic. A big question in LA is what agency are you with.
Men have all the same hobbies in New York and LA, but in New York they are often pretending to have those hobbies ironically.
In LA, there are citrus trees in many front yards, and they produce fruit no one has use for, so they put it out in boxes. Free oranges and lemons are common, and I often leave someone’s house with a purse full of clementines. In New York, the only free good thing is Shakespeare in the Park. I love Shakespeare in the Park!
A friend of mine visited LA and said she needed a tampon, without bodegas, where does a girl go to get a tampon? I said Target, but apparently they’re available on UberEats, as a different friend once said she was going to UberEats a box of tampons to my place (from Target? Or somewhere else? I don’t know). The point is, I have tampons in my bathroom, if you need one.
People say that in New York, your purse is your car. Or your jacket. Where you keep your stuff as you travel around. I get that, but you still need a jacket and a purse in LA.
People in LA are generally happier. But equally depressed.
There is a lot of theater in New York. There is a little bit of theater in LA, but the less said about it, the better.
Seeing a skateboarder in LA is charming. Seeing a skateboarder in New York is dreadful.
LA is Big Bud Press jumpsuits. New York is teeny dress, big makeup.
In New York, you can be ugly and still be hot. In LA, not even hot people are hot.
You can sit at a coffee shop table nursing a tea and surfing the Internet for three hours in LA and not feel like an asshole loser.
Being from LA and living in LA is normal. Being from New York and living in New York requires a follow-up conversation.
People in New York pretend they’re having less sex than they are. In LA, they pretend they’re having more.
It’s easier to avoid seeing cops in LA.
The UCB in New York seems to be more up and running than the UCB in LA. Personally I think the institution should have died a quiet but dignified pandemic death, but that’s a topic for another time.
Being a writer-performer in New York means you’re a good performer who can write. In LA, you’re a good writer who can perform. You’d think it would be the other way around.
There’s hardly anyplace in LA that has soy milk. Oat milk has completely replaced it. Pistachio milk is making inroads. Almond milk, of course, is a mainstay, but it is in fact terrible. In New York, you’re mostly just buying a drink to get the bathroom code, so it doesn’t matter.
In New York, outdoor movie screenings are cheaper (or free) than in LA, but in LA, sometimes they are in cemeteries, which isn’t that creepy once you’re there, because it’s hard to feel creeped out next to a guy selling grilled cheese and t-shirts.
LA adults are more willing to acknowledge that they want special treatment on their birthdays.
People in New York stay out later and wake up later, and things are open later but also earlier; I guess they’re just open longer. Did I already say this one? Sorry if I already said this one.
New York picnics are only for those in their 20s. In LA, picnics are okay through 45. But LA picnics are less photographed.
Megan Fox lives in LA but I swear she’d be happier in New York.
I’m pretty sure that’s all of ‘em, but if there’s anything I missed, drop it in the comments.
West Coastfully yours,
Lizzie