50 reasons to get a cat
some things to consider
“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
Robert A. Heinlein
paw
other paw
feets
lil nose
attitude
they go chomp
where did they go? so good at hide and seek (mostly hide)
treats go cronch cronch
fuzzy like a stuffed animal that came to life
stupid!
there are lots of breeds but no one cares what they are
warm
teefs
they’re not always trying to eat garbage
no cat has ever committed wire fraud
soft
they purr and it is healing
Not cringe at all
no cat has ever been implicated in the Jan. 6 riots
usually asleep
don’t care about weather
something to talk about/look at/bond with roommates over
when they rub their cheeks on you so sweetly and full of love
not very expensive to care for
if you tell a cat a secret, they won’t tell anyone
they curl up in places and under stuff
belly (but no touch)
even when they jump on you it’s fine because they are so small
no cat has ever committed a hate crime
pink tongue
a cat will never slut-shame you, fat-shame you or act in any type of classist manner. They are, however, pretty passive-aggressive.
know zero words
Inspired two musicals (the Andrew Lloyd Webber one and the Disney one with the Asian stereotypes)
live pretty long
cats don’t embarrass you by getting kicked out of school or dating someone with a face tattoo
jumping around, and zoomies
you can leave them alone for honestly like 72 hours and it’s fine
TAIL!!!!!
there are no cat lawyers, and even if there were, that would be soooo cuuuute
mom cats carry baby cats by biting their necks and dragging them around
freaky eyes
very little smell
no cat has ever cheated on their spouse.
Magic, obviously
there are no Jewish cats but also no anti-semitic cats!
good boundaries
generally quiet
when they hiss it’s kind of fun like in a Halloween way
keep rodents away
have never colluded with the police
Meow!
Lizzie