5 Inventions I Would Invent Were I An Inventor
some ideas
I am not an inventor. I cannot engineer or make. I don’t design. I’ve never even 3D printed. But I am somewhat imaginative, and I have ideas for things that should exist.
An Enormous Blanket
You know that thing of like, your spouse hogs the blanket at night? There should be enough blanket for everyone. Big huge down comforter: for the couples!
Wall-Mounted Floss
Like pencil sharpeners at school. Or tape in a craft room. A giant roll of floss mounted right next to the sink for easy access. Never fiddle with flimsy cases again!
Screw Anchors That Actually Work
WHY ARE THESE LITTLE SHITS IMPOSSIBLE TO INSTALL AND COMPLETELY UNHELPFUL AND WARP IMMEDIATELY?
These Specific Bumper Stickers
“Erewhon Taste On A Trader Joe’s Budget”
“Real Eyes Realize Real Lies”
“Drive It Like You Stole It (Very Carefully So You Don’t Get Pulled Over)”
“Male Hair Loss Pills Mess Up Your Boner”
“There’s No Such Thing As A Teacup Pig”
“Friends Holds Up”
“Ralph Lauren Is From The Bronx”
“YOKO INNOCENT”
Mixed Vinyls
This is a business I actually truly do think could make a ton of money and should exist: a company that will print you a vinyl record of 10-12 songs of your choice. Since each item would be one-of-a-kind (or made-to-order), they’d be expensive, but they’d be keepsakes.
People used to trade mix tapes, and then burn mix CDs all the time, and now they absolutely love finding them in the garage or attic. It’s a great souvenir of what you were into at the time, what was popular when you made it, and if it was a gift, even better. Birthday and holiday mixes were basically the only way I learned about new music in high school. Obviously, people don’t do that so much these days. The modern equivalent is making someone a playlist, which is a very sweet gesture, but not a great memento. Easily deleted, hard to treasure.
HOWEVER!!! We are buying vinyl like never before!!! Americans have bought more vinyl every year for the last two decades.
Part of the beauty of listening to something on vinyl is that it’s really hard to skip around. You get the full album experience. But say you really only like one song, and you want to listen to it with great audio quality…are you gonna shell out for a whole record? Think about getting, for your birthday or anniversary, a high-quality recording of your ten favorite songs in a beautiful package that you can not only touch and hold but listen to.
I think this is a viable business. If anyone knows how to start a business, let me know.
Drop your best invention in the comments,
Lizzie
I’d invent a drone that follows you everywhere but holds all your stuff: keys, water bottle, that thing you just bought at the shop because the clerk was cute but you’re not sure you actually need it and now you have to carry it around. It’s be like a man servant in imperial Russia, there to do your bidding. “Hey Ravdronovich, hold this.”